Behind the veil.

Your fingers play, the move is there — 1–2–3, 1–2–3, like a dance, the steps all fall into place.

Then the thoughts creep in.

What if you don’t have it in you anymore? What if you gave all that you were?

What if that was it, the brilliance of it all got lost somewhere on the road?

And you go back to find it.

You peek behind the curtain, or blast it in the wind, who cares?

Photo by Steinar Engeland on Unsplash

At least you look at it. You see the Darkness that once were, but now it’s different. Now you’re on the other side of the veil and you saw what happens after the darkness and you are not scared anymore.

You look at the darkness and you remember how — at times — you would crawl and beg and moan and fight it and yearn for it to be gone.

Until you finally had no choice, so you got up on you feet and faced it all, at the same time, all of it, nowhere to run, no one to hide with.

And you saw the bad, but you saw the good and you felt the light and the love and the warmth, so, so much love and so, so much warmth. And the bad wasn’t so bad, it was only built up in your head, and the good was really good, you didn’t imagine it, but it was simple and easy, not like you’d expect, in the tiniest of things, and at times you would cry with relief of how good it feels to feel it all.

And now the darkness is gone and you don’t know who you are without it, so you look, and you look again, and you look closer, you look at it all and you smile, because there is love and light and warmth without the darkness and there is power and passion and there is fire and you are unleashed.

And you strip to the core, shed it all like a coat you no longer need. All the stories, and all the songs, and all the fury, and all the fear, it’s just lost and you are left bare handed and so, so, so, so alive. And empty, but good empty, a blank canvas for the future and for your your hopes and for your dreams and you are you, so, so, so you, so finally and unapologetically you.

And you know who you are.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
the.wanna___

the.wanna___

Trying to write myself into existence